Day 393

.

Dear Syed,

"Why did you broke up with Syed?"

I was watching Hannah Montana on beautiful Saturday morning when my mom asked that question this morning. I think it was because my great cuz, Ika is getting married next year. She and Naim fought a lot and broke up several times. But somehow they always find ways to get back together again and again. I don't know why our luck is not as good as theirs.

Anyway, I don't really answer my mother's question. I cannot bring myself to say that it is my fault that you left. I just said we fought a lot.

"Do you have any other boyfriend?"

"No."

"Then, why? What makes him so determined to leave you when both of you look okay before. Macam dah berpatah arang. What did you do?"

I just kept quiet and fixed my eyes on the TV screen.

My mother used to say i have a low EQ. So i guess she already knew it is my fault. I don't understand why she have to repeatedly asking a question i do not want to answer. I tried to prove her wrong about the fact that I cannot handle my emotion well. But I guess, she is right.

By the end of the night, I ended up with headache, eye pain, and stomachache. But none of them can overcome this hurt in my heart.

J.