Day 326

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Dear Syed,


I am having a tough week. I am stressed with all these exam papers. And all i can think of is you. But sadly you never did reply any of my messages. It really pushed my emotion down the hill. I cried a lot for these past few days. I know i should not. But I cannot help myself.

I need you.

I cannot stand your ignorance. It drives me crazy. It turns me into this bitch who keeps messaging you continuosly. I hate that person. And i know you hate her too.

But it is okay,

I will be fine. I have God. He will definitely help. I know He will.


J.

Day 324

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(An hour before.)


My phone beeps. It was one of those FB alerts.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

14 March 2010 23:18

Facebook msg from SAK

Good luck. My prayers with you.
There's nothing to be talked about anymore.

Reply to msg Syed back.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Did i just make a wrong decision by texting him?

Maybe.

*sigh*

But at least he replied and pray for me. That's what matter most.

*right?*

I continued reading my books.

Day 323

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Dear Syed,


My exam starts tomorrow. I wanted to message you. But i do not know what to say. And i am afraid of the consequences. I am afraid that it may affect my emotion during exam week.

But honey, i am scared and nervous about the exam. I wish you would be here with me to calm me down and say all the soothing words you used to say.

I have to be strong and independent. I know. But. I still need you.


I will be doing okay, kan?

You are praying for me, kan?

Everything will be great.

Right?

Love,
J.

Day 316

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Dear Syed,

Yesterday i went through all our photos and the messages on Skype because I miss you. I thought it will makes me feel better. But it does not. I ended up with an enormous feelings of loneliness which lead me to skipping study group discussion.

I wonder when will it be over..

Now in the place where it used to be filled with love,
in the deepest part of my heart,
there is an empty space with a tinge of hurt.


J.

Day 315 and 3/4

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Dear Syed,

I am stressed out. I want to watch movie. I want to watch it with you. I want to sit on the couple seat. I want to cover us both with the blanket. I want to hold your hand. I want to put my head on your shoulder. I want to look at you from the side while you are watching the movie.


Would you please ask me out?


Me,
J.

Day 315

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Dear Syed,

I have been an insomniac lately. And I do not like it. Because the longer the time it takes for me to enter the dreamyland, the longer the time i will spend thinking of you. Then, I will ended up being angry with myself for missing you.

I even sprayed some pleasant smells on my bed and turned off all the lights to help me to go to sleep. But somehow it doesn't make me feel any difference than the day before.

Should I start considering hypnotic medication?

Hm.

It's already 1.23 pm. I should go back to sleep. I am going to have revision class with my professor at 9.00 a.m tomorrow. Maybe i should try to count the flowers on my pants.

Goodnite.


J.

Day 84

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J,

Hello. I'm sorry. Forgive me for being such a moody bum today. I love you for always. I just miss you too much. Hope you feel the same way too...


Yours,
Aliq
17/7/09

I forgive you, always.

Why can't you do the same?

Day 57

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SH,

Here's my t-shirt i promised to give you...Take good care of it and do remember me whenever you wear it okie? :)

Take good care of yourself. Don't get hurt, don't be stressed, be a good girl, be a good student, behave yourself, be strong, be cheerful.

Jangan tinggal solat and solat awal waktu k?

Sayang...I love you...

Sayang...I'm gonna miss you...

Take care ~

1436


Yours,
SAK
21/6/09

**********************************************************

You gave me the first shirt when i went to Slim River last year in June. I still keep all your shirts. I do not know what to do with it. Still, i do not feel like giving it back to you.

Not yet.

Hm..

J.

Day 310

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Dear Syed,


It has been winter since October last year.

Don't you feel like changing the season of your heart to spring or summer?



Love,
J.