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Dear Syed,
Currently I am in Penang. Crying on Iyas' sister's bed.
Earliear today, Wani and Iyas were arguing and discussing about us in the car. Wani defended me and Iyas was defending you. Watching they arguing about us remind me back to all had happened. I have been repressing my feelings and thoughts of you for some time since my last visit to your house. I have told myself so many times to hate you.
I said to Iyas you are a bad person. That's why you left me alone. Because I want to believe it that way. It is easier to hate you that way. But he said you're not. And convinced me you have your reasons of your act. Which I hope he never told me that. Because I know it is true. I just do not want to believe it.
Why must he change my mind. Now I am so frustrated as all the memories coming back to me, hijacking my mind. Keep reminding me that it was my fault for what had happened to us.
Why my life has to be so hard?
J.
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